It is quite amazing what some can do with a single verse of the bible. Some of our friends in the good old US of A have dreamt up yet a new church based on ...
Which I'm sure you all know off by heart:
"Take the finest spices: of liquid myrrh five hundred shekels, and of sweet-smelling cinnamon half as much, that is, two hundred fifty, and two hundred fifty of aromatic cane"
Look closely at that word '~f,boß-hnEq.W'', usually translated as fragrant or aromatic cane. For those who cannot read Hebrew, these words are pronounced something like Kaneh-bosem. Which is, of course ….
That's right, the OT anointing oil, so say our overseas friends, must be the drug we all know today as Marijuana.* This means that all the Temple implements, priests etc. were coated with enough Cannabis to keep The Doors churning out another five albums.
Now the kicker. Christ of course means 'anointed one'. Perhaps you may see where this new church is going with all of this …
Does your Church have the false anointing?
The question really is: Does it smell of Cannabis?
Their reasoning pushes on: 'If Jesus was called "Christ" by receiving the Holy Anointing Oil, how are we to be called Christians? One would assume that we must also be anointed with the same, Holy Anointing Oil, or Nazar Oil, as described in Exodus 30:23.'
Indeedy. Unless you've been smeared from head to foot in half a bag of Marijuana, don't you have the cheek to go calling yourself a Christian.
In fact, while they are at it, if you aren't slam-dunking enough Cannabis in your holy oil to get a filled football stadium high as a kite, thou art the antichrist. They argue:
"But as "Christ" means "the anointed" What does "Anti-Christ" mean? "Anti" in Greek means "Opposed to" or "Instead of". The Anti-Christ would then mean "Opposed to the anointed" or "Instead of the anointed".
For false Christ's or (false anointed ones) and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect. Matthew 24:24
Today the Roman Catholic Churches, use Pure Olive Oil, sprinkled with powered Balsam, and blessed by a Bishop at lent. Here we find the "instead of anointing".
The Coptic Orthodox use a Myron oil which consists of over 30 spices. The Myron Oil is based on a tradition that Saint Mark took with him the spices used at Jesus burial to Alexandria. Whether or not this is true is unknown, but here again we have the "Instead of Oil"
There are other Churches that boil down various other configurations of the Holy Oil. Some include wine, salt, and other ingredients, boiled with oil, as the "instead of Holy Oil".
Most protestant Churches offer no anointing at all. Here we find the "opposed to anointing".
It appears, that in the Christian World, so preoccupied with calling themselves, Christians or "The Anointed Ones", we have no place for the "Holy Anointing Oil of God", as described in the Exodus 30:23"
How true. Some of these stupid antichrist churches have bothered about defining oneself as Christian by faith in atoning work of Christ, works of justice and mercy, justification by faith etc. when all along they should have been skinny dipping in enough Cannabis to keep Snoop Dogg happy for a year.
'The Anointing breaks the yoke', they note at the bottom of the page.
The Assembly of the Church of the Universe is the not-at-all new age sounding denomination giving their hearty support of this teaching. Their declaration:
"As Members of the Church of the Universe and Ordained Clergy,
we declare our ancient and common law right to freedom of worship
and our right to freedom in the administration and the co-ordination
of all sacraments, Baptism, Holy Matrimony, Last Rights, Exorcism and
Communion and of the 12 fruits of God's Tree of Life, Marijuana
as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be. Amen."
Well that is an original twist. And oh yes, they hold marijuana to be the sacred Tree of Life from Genesis.
They put the whole business into one punchy sentence: "either Jesus used marijuana or he was not the Christ"
I like the sound of this church. We could spice up our church incense no end with this proof-text – bring a whole new meaning to the 'better is one day in your courts' Psalmist language. May just keep me coming back for the Sunday service...
But can I really join? Here are pictures of the Reverend Baldasaro and the Reverend Tucker of The Assembly of the Church of the Universe:
With a couple of small adjustments to my fashion, and yea baby, I'll be swinging with my mojo right along to the next service:
Oh yes, and they believe in nudity:
"Do you think Jesus was a nudist?"
Reverend Tucker: "He was, under his clothes. Look, he said it the way it is. I forgot where in the book he said it but he said something like "into this world you're brought naked and from it naked you will go."
Reverend Baldasaro: "Hey man, it's natural. You don't hurt anybody by doing it and we want to do it on our own ground, not in any middle class place. We want to be free."
As it turns out, they don't consider themeselves to be Christian, they just use Christian language like 'Jesus' and 'Church' and try to exegete the bible. While their exegesis and treatment of the bible is not the most convincing (-understatement mode off-), who is to say that they may not be right about their right to use Cannabis? What would you say?* Whether the word under question really means 'Cannabis' is of course questionable. HALOT prefers to translate 'Kaneh' as reed or stalk, 'Bosem' as balsam oil or perfume which would fit well with its second usage in the above proof-text (together with cinnamon). Cf. also the 'measuring reed' in Ezek 40:3 (kaneh). On 'Bosem', cf. Isaiah 3:24 'Instead of perfume there will be a stench'. As for Christ's anointing and the citations from the early church in their argument, I'll let you work out the problems in their argumentation - Perhaps Jer 6:20 can also put things in perspective: "Of what use to me is frankincense that comes from Sheba, or sweet cane (Kaneh) from a distant land? Your burnt offerings are not acceptable, nor are your sacrifices pleasing to me."