Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Drive-by Baptism competition

In the spirit of the 'Father Christmas' and 'Lords per Minute' competitions, I propose a friendly contest. The winner is the one who drive-by Baptises the most people before the end date of September the 1st. The winner also gets a book of his choice from his wishlist.

UPDATE: I am presently writing this from an internet connection in a Tübingen low security jail. Apart from the whole messy police thing at the end, I managed 5 tonight. I'm off to sing a few more hymns in my cell as one of the freshly baptised is shouting rude things at me from behind those three restraining policemen.

UPDATE: I got another one on the way back from the prison. She was a nun, but I thought I'd rebaptise just to make sure.

Josh McManaway: 26

Judy Redman: 8 (well I believe you!)

Chris: 6

Everybody else: 0


At 7/25/2007 1:26 AM, Anonymous Jim said...

The HBO (or was it Showtime) series OZ comes oddly to mind....

At 7/25/2007 3:10 AM, Anonymous Recovering said...

We have more freedom to 'baptize' in the U.S. I think... :)

At 7/25/2007 6:08 AM, Anonymous martin shields said...

Living in a drought ravaged land may prove my undoing in this, but I do recall that many years ago we had a Renault 10 on which we re-oriented the windscreen washers to aim at pedestrians and cyclists. This allowed sprinkling even in drought conditions, but full immersion was out of the question.

At 7/25/2007 11:02 AM, Anonymous Ben Byerly said...

Was the jailer converted after the earthquake which followed your hymn sing? Don't you think it is unfair to call a contest after you have already had 5 'baptisms' under your belt? Or were you just afraid of the competition?

At 7/25/2007 6:51 PM, Anonymous :mic said...

Again, the Triune Immersion thing comes around. . .

If I have to go around the block two extra times, then there really should be a handicap to this. . .

At 7/25/2007 7:33 PM, Anonymous KarlTorah said...

Please check out the attached website regarding Rabbi Kaduri's comments about the difficulty people have with the Flesh of Messiah, Yeshua.

At 7/25/2007 10:26 PM, Anonymous Chris Tilling said...

Mr martin shields,
That is just a poor excuse.

Ben, I'm not scared. You scared? I'll take you on.

:mic, that is just an excuse. I note that I'm still winning.

At 7/26/2007 2:06 AM, Anonymous Judy Redman said...

Hang on a minute. There are some flaws in your account. I think you might be trying to cheat.

The instructions in your previous post on this issue indicated that a valid drive-by baptism requires at least two ministers and yet it appears that only you were in prison. Further, given that Anja doesn't seem to approve of this activity, we need more details about who has been working with you in order to accept your statistics. We also need a link to a website that verifies the fact that it actually rained in Tuebingen last night.

Otherwise there is nothing to stop me from producing an account of managing to baptise eight drunken students on their way home from the traditional Wednesday pub night by judicious use of an extra-large puddle and claiming that I am two baptisms ahead of you and furthermore that my baptisms were in further service of the Kingdom because they also helped to sober up the new members. :-)

At 7/26/2007 6:13 AM, Anonymous Josh McManaway said...

Chris - big news - it rained the other day here in lovely North Carolina (always does in the summer, every afternoon)and...I hijacked one of the city's busses to baptize someone (my roommate served as the second officiator for the Baptisms). I just drove around the city in the bus and when people saw me coming, they'd step right up to the curb. Naturally, I gassed it and soaked every last one of them. The current score on this end is 26 after a full day of city-bus baptizing.

Oh, and the weather channel says more rain until Sunday! Happy Baptizing!

At 7/26/2007 9:09 PM, Anonymous Chris Tilling said...

Trying to cheat?

:-) Thanks for the chuckle!

Josh! 26!!! You must be one holy guy! Thanks for the laugh!

At 7/27/2007 8:54 AM, Anonymous Ben Byerly said...

I haven't even gotten to scared. Haven't yet figured out how to do the baptisms on a bike. Maybe I'll have to take a page from mcmanaway and commondere a good ole Nairobi matatu. Then again, it's dry season here. Can we have this contest again in March?

At 7/28/2007 1:04 AM, Anonymous Judy Redman said...

Ben says:

Haven't yet figured out how to do the baptisms on a bike.

Well, it would seem to me that if you can memorise the liturgy, you probably don't need another person if you're on a bike - the baptisee will be able to hear you quite well from your seat, unlike when you're the driver of a car.

It's far more difficult to do a full immersion baptism using a bike, but my denomination accepts sprinkling, so maybe Chris would be prepared to adjust the rules for bke riders. The apprehension risk is also higher, but there's no number plate so that slow runners can't report you to the police.

Do they have fire hydrants in Nairobi? Perhaps you could create your own artificial puddles for the sake of the gospel rather than waiting until March?

At 7/29/2007 4:44 PM, Anonymous Chris Tilling said...

"Can we have this contest again in March?"
Any excue. No we can't!

Judy, thanks for the laugh. I have this picture in my head of Ben using a fire hydrant!!!!!


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