Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Association of Fundamentalists Evangelizing Catholics

Do you want to become a member of the Association of Fundamentalists Evangelizing Catholics?

I know you do.

Just a few simple, uncontroversial and nicely balanced bylaws to agree to, and you're in.

1. First off, top of the list:

“We are non-charismatic and non-ecumenical”

Fair enough. We wouldn’t want any chandelier-swinging charismatic spoiling our non-ecumenical meetings. Besides, the leader has called the Roman Catholic Church, ‘Satan's masterpiece’, so I suppose there won’t be much room left for honest ecumenical dialogue anyway.

2. But now that's out of the way, its time to get down to the nitty gritty; time to get to get the essentials.

“At our annual Conference, no woman is to teach a mixed group”

I should hope not! No need for missiological musings when there are women around who could actually speak or something. This is an association with undeniable style.

3. This last one is my personal favourite,

“The KJV will be used for all public meetings”

Moses himself couldn't have put it any better. Can you imagine how ungodly it would be to read out the pure evil of the NASB or NJB or something? Besides, who needs them or, come to think of it, the Luther, Nouvelle Edition Geneve, or Spanish Reina-Valera Update etc., if you’ve got the King James 1611 Bible?

Learn English foreign people!

And while on the KJV subject, my dear friend, Volker, who e-mailed me the web links above, also found some helpful devotional-aid gifs on a discussion forum - the signature of a certain ‘Independent, fundamental, King James only, washed in the blood of Christ, believer’:

This next one is called 'run to the kjv':

Time to put away your Nestle-Aland 27h Edition and Biblia Hebraica Stuttgartensia me thinks.


At 2/01/2006 1:45 AM, Anonymous Justin Jenkins said...


If only those KJV images were small 'nuff to become my blogger icon! In fact, I wish the AFEC had a few icons. Quite enjoyable.

At 2/01/2006 2:34 AM, Anonymous Jim said...

Makes one want to cry. And I'm not exactly given to emotional outbursts. In fact, I'm not even a hugger.

At 2/01/2006 5:40 AM, Anonymous T.B. Vick said...

I noticed that the President's term for this group ends this June (2006).

I think I'll join and go for the President's slot!

What do ya think? I can be non-ecumenical if I put my 'mind' to it!

At 2/01/2006 6:38 AM, Anonymous Ben Myers said...

Sounds like their meetings would be a lot of fun. Whenever a woman speaks, the men can all wave their KJV Bibles and holler: “Shut thy mouth, thou daughter of Babylon!” To which the woman replies: “Mine bowels are moved with sorrow; wherefore I beseech thee to forgive me.” And then the men all resume their important business of cursing the pope, while the women cover their heads respectfully.

At 2/01/2006 1:52 PM, Anonymous Chris Tilling said...

Hi Justin, I'd love to have this as my avtar too, but I've learnt from hard experience that some will take you seriously. I once witnessed as a friend actually managed to convince a Fundamentalist that he owned a slave. He was, of course, trying to make a point about hermeneutics and how we handle Paul. However, the lady in question was mortaly offended and terribley confused. Hilarious, but dangerous.

As for the rest of you, I had such fun reading your comments!

At 2/02/2006 3:02 AM, Anonymous Alan Bandy said... ummm....yep, now I have seen it all! What would Paul say?


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