Association of Fundamentalists Evangelizing Catholics
Do you want to become a member of the Association of Fundamentalists Evangelizing Catholics?
I know you do.
Just a few simple, uncontroversial and nicely balanced bylaws to agree to, and you're in.
1. First off, top of the list:
“We are non-charismatic and non-ecumenical”
Fair enough. We wouldn’t want any chandelier-swinging charismatic spoiling our non-ecumenical meetings. Besides, the leader has called the Roman Catholic Church, ‘Satan's masterpiece’, so I suppose there won’t be much room left for honest ecumenical dialogue anyway.
2. But now that's out of the way, its time to get down to the nitty gritty; time to get to get the essentials.
“At our annual Conference, no woman is to teach a mixed group”
I should hope not! No need for missiological musings when there are women around who could actually speak or something. This is an association with undeniable style.
3. This last one is my personal favourite,
“The KJV will be used for all public meetings”
Moses himself couldn't have put it any better. Can you imagine how ungodly it would be to read out the pure evil of the NASB or NJB or something? Besides, who needs them or, come to think of it, the Luther, Nouvelle Edition Geneve, or Spanish Reina-Valera Update etc., if you’ve got the King James 1611 Bible?
Learn English foreign people!
And while on the KJV subject, my dear friend, Volker, who e-mailed me the web links above, also found some helpful devotional-aid gifs on a discussion forum - the signature of a certain ‘Independent, fundamental, King James only, washed in the blood of Christ, believer’:
This next one is called 'run to the kjv':
Time to put away your Nestle-Aland 27h Edition and Biblia Hebraica Stuttgartensia me thinks.