Monday, November 26, 2018

Two Rules for Being a Man

Following Mike Bird’s 50 Maxims for Being a Man, I’ve been inspired to pen the Chris Tilling Really Very Holy Ministries Two Rules pertaining to the same. Mine are obviously more condensed, more 95 Theses, or even 39 Articles, than Mike’s 2 Kings.

First, congratulations for being a man! Well done, you! But, and this is really important, don’t be a dick about it. Seriously though, this is 1st class stamp level litmus test golden rule wisdom. It’s going to be tough to top this one, actually.

Second, this one hardly needs to be said, but … spend more time thinking about the stuff you want to buy on Black Fridays a couple of days before Black Friday, otherwise things get way too busy when you should be focused on making purchases, and you’ll end up getting overwhelmed thinking about which shopping carts duplicate items and get confused about where you found the cheapest deals, and then you’ll miss the best buys and all because you didn’t plan ahead.

Wait, got another one

Third, and as I recently learnt, don't feel you need to eat reindeer jerky only during advent just because it feels seasonal. Eat it when you want, and simply because you can. The first steps to alpha male assertiveness - because lobsters - can be small, but you'll be king lobstering in the right direction.

Crikey, got another!

Fourth, sin boldly! Of course, I don't mean literally sin boldly, I mean do righteous stuff boldly. Never sin.


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