Wednesday, December 21, 2011

The Evil Santa Competition Winner ... won't be me

Despite best intentions, this year has been a total failure.

Not one glistening tear on the face of a single child, not one Santa-related existential crisis.

Yep: No points. Null Punkte. Nil Points. (Much as the UK will get at the Eurovision Song contenst this year, because of Cameron's EU veto)

I blame the computer games, and the general air of Pyrrhonian cynicism in the under 3s. Not even my trusty "I beat Rudolph with a pain stick until he jumped into my pie making microwave" line worked.

Actually, speaking of Rudolph, has anyone here ever heard of "Rudolph" Bultmann before?

No. Me neither.

But apparently Amazon are publishing his books, including Jesus Christ and MythologyPrimitive Christianity, and a two-volume Theology of the New Testament.

Must be a plagiarising relative of the famous Rudolf Bultmann.

And while on cool names, beat this one: Associate Professor in Language and Literacy, Society and Culture at the University of Berkeley, is none other than ... Zeus Leonardo

I know, right, awesomeness itself. Virtually Odin-esque

6 Comments:

At 12/22/2011 4:48 AM, Blogger Andrew said...

My local news website has today informed me that the world's creepiest Santa resides in my country (or used to).

 
At 12/22/2011 10:28 AM, Blogger Terry Wright said...

Rudolph was Rudolf's evil twin... They were a bit like Mr Hat and Mr Garrison from South Park, according to Rudolth Bultmann's little known publication, One in Three and Three in One: The Strange New World of the Bultmann Triplets.

 
At 12/22/2011 11:59 AM, Blogger David Mackinder said...

speaking of cool names . . . I give you Prof. Kneebone, the surgeon (http://www1.imperial.ac.uk/medicine/people/r.kneebone/)

 
At 12/24/2011 2:44 PM, Blogger Chris Tilling said...

:)

 
At 12/24/2011 10:46 PM, Blogger Leonardo de la Paor said...

Now you know why Jesus said what He said in Matthew 18:6:

CHILD BRIDES 3 YEARS OLD
Babylonian Talmud: Tractate Niddah
Niddah 44b
MISHNAH. A GIRL OF THE AGE OF THREE YEARS AND ONE DAY MAY BE BETROTHED23 BY INTERCOURSE; IF THE YABAM24 HAD INTERCOURSE WITH HER, HE ACQUIRES HER THEREBY;25 THE GUILT26 OF ADULTERY27 MAY BE INCURRED THROUGH HER,28 AND SHE29 CAUSES UNCLEANNESS TO THE MAN WHO HAD INTERCOURSE WITH HER SO THAT HE IN TURN CONVEYS UNCLEANNESS TO THAT UPON WHICH HE LIES,30 AS TO A GARMENT WHICH HAS LAIN UPON [A ZAB].31 IF SHE WAS MARRIED TO A PRIEST, SHE MAY EAT TERUMAH. IF ANY OF THE INELIGIBLE PERSONS32 COHABITED WITH HER HE DISQUALIFIES HER FROM THE PRIESTHOOD.33 IF ANY OF THE FORBIDDEN DEGREES ENUMERATED IN THE TORAH COHABITED WITH HER HE IS TO BE EXECUTED ON HER ACCOUNT, BUT SHE34 IS EXEMPT [FROM THE PENALTY]. IF ONE WAS YOUNGER THAN THIS AGE INTERCOURSE WITH HER IS LIKE PUTTING A FINGER IN THE EYE.

 
At 12/24/2011 10:47 PM, Blogger Leonardo de la Paor said...

In contrast to Simeon ben Yohai's dictum that sex with a little girl is permitted under the age of three years, the general teaching of the Talmud is that the rabbi must wait until a day after her third birthday. She could be taken in marriage simply by the act of rape.
R. Joseph said: Come and hear! A maiden aged three years and a day may be acquired in marriage by coition and if her deceased husband’s brother cohabits with her, she becomes his. (Sanhedrin 55b)
A girl who is three years of age and one day may be betrothed by cohabitation. . . .(. Yebamoth 57b)
A maiden aged three years and a day may be acquired in marriage by coition, and if her deceased husband’s brother cohabited with her she becomes his. (Sanhedrin. 69a, 69b, also discussed in Yebamoth. 60b)
It was taught: R. Simeon b. Yohai stated: A proselyte who is under the age of three years and one day is permitted to marry a priest, for it is said, But all the women children that have not known man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves, and Phineas (who was priest, the footnote says) surely was with them. (Yebamoth. 60b)
[The Talmud says such three year and a day old girls are] . . . fit for cohabitation. . . But all women children, that have not known man by lying with him, it must be concluded that Scripture speaks of one who is fit for cohabitation. (Footnote to Yebamoth. 60b)

 

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