The 'guess the academic' competition

Rumours are abound that some are hiring special agents to take pictures, in the public toilets, of the bottoms of random academics at this year's up-coming Society of Biblical Literature convention. Once published on the blogs for thousands to see the competition will be to match butt with academic celebrity. Occasionally they may also provide the noise of academic straining on the said loo, making it a 'match strain to name' series.

Scandalously, rumours are linking yours truly and West with this (admittedly interesting) plan, but I would like to point out that we both have alibis and such dirty humour at the expense of others is beneath us both. As for me, let me make clear that I wasn't even there when it was discussed just now on MSN messenger.