The Ultimate Theological Rock-Paper-Scissors Compilation

It all started with the Rev Professor Dr Robert Jenson, theologian extraordinaire, playing rock-paper-scissors.

My scissors won.

North American conservative preacher, John Piper, playing rock-paper-scissors. My paper won. Twice.

Yet another rock-paper-scissors victim. This time, the brilliant Prof Alan Torrance lost to my scissors. He's clearly a bit shocked (It’s talent, Alan, a gift)

I'm on a roll in the rock-paper-scissors matches. Even Jesus’s scissors loose to “my rock” (how theologically ironic!). He took it gracefully, of course.

Right, I've just about flogged this joke to death, and Karl Barth is not amused that my paper beat his rock. Sourpuss.

Sorry, Rowan, the sign for a black hole singularity isn't allowed in rock-paper-scissors. You loose. Cheater.

And sorry again, Jesus, but I've changed back to paper again, which beats your rock.

No, there are rules in rock-paper-scissors, it doesn't matter who you are. Pointing just ... No! Disqualified.

Not to be denied three times, Jesus beats my paper with scissors - eerily like he knew what I was gonna play before I did. #benefitsofomniscience

No, Mr Lee, you can't change your mind. You clearly chose rock 2nd - it was paper 1st, and my scissors busted yo ass

And these just keep coming in a relentless stream of flogging what has quickly become a very old joke. I don't care.

Smart ass ex-student sent this along.

Okay, I get the message.