Wednesday, May 08, 2013

Some theological products for your consideration

1) Your “Jesus Action Figure” ( for a mere £6.38

One reviewer comments: “If Jesus saves, why is this item still full price?”

2) What about a “grow your own Jesus”? (

One astute reviewer remarks: “Amazing for the first few days, your own personal Jesus Christ. Lifesize, full robe costume and everything, just as he was all those years ago. But the novelty soon wore off…”

3) I was of course particularly tempted by the “Holy Toast Miracle Bread Stamper” (

Until I read a review:

“WARNING! Do not under any circumstances use this product upside down. I made this mistake and instead of having a delightful print of the Mother of God bestowed upon my toast, imagine my shock to see the devil himself staring back at me like a weird breaded paedophile. As a result of my actions, my youngest son has now been possessed by the devil and his constant satanic ramblings are becoming quite tedious. Aside from this, the inconvenience of ridding the beast from my youngest has come at great cost; I've lost my job. Apparently, 'attending an exorcism' isn't a valid reason to claim for a days paid leave.”


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