Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Neologism of the Day

This is the first in a series proposing new words that should be added to the dictionary.

Main Entry: Asbestosunderpantsinsurancepolicy
Phonetic pronunciation: [aspestos-underpants-insurance-policy]
Function: noun

This noun is used to denote certain versions of the gospel preached in some more conservative pulpits. It can also be used adjectively, e.g. 'That pulpit thumper sure laid on thick the asbestosunderpantsinsurancepolicy gospel, today'. As a verb it becomes, e.g. 'I asbestosunderpantsinsurancepolicied the men's bible study group'.


At 7/09/2008 1:09 AM, Anonymous Robert said...

I think this one should be submitted to Webster right away for consideration.

At 7/09/2008 5:27 AM, Anonymous Edward T. Babinski said...

Great, so you're saying my gentialia will be protected via "asbestos underpants," but everything else will be burnt off? Ouch.

Don't women at least get to purchase an asbestos panty and bra set?

And what about the link between lung cancer and asbestos? So I guess even if you had a full asbestos suit to wear you'd still suffer cancer for eternity.

O.K., so what I guess you MEANT to write was that anyone NOT using their "faith bucks" to purchase a certified 100% orthodox Christian insurance policy to protect them from the flames of eternal hell might as well try wearing asbestos underwear as protection -- at least according to some preachers who equate evangelism with preaching fear of hell.

At 7/09/2008 5:38 AM, Anonymous Edward T. Babinski said...

Without all those neat put downs that religion provides, a lot of people's pent up bestial wrath just wouldn't have the outlet religion provides, like telling people to "go to hell," or like calling people neat names like "heretic, apostate, infidel," or even declaring people "as fit to be fried as Lucifer's lambchops."

At 7/09/2008 10:21 AM, Anonymous Rev Tony B said...

Is this another sign of the new theologicaleurospeak? The compound noun structure indicates strong German influence; is the next step the placing of eschatological concepts at the end of the sentence?

Alternatively, I suggest this forms the basis of a new series of characters for Asterix the Gaul - asbestosunderpantsinsurancepolicix, eschatologix, heresymakesmefeelbilius, etc.

At 7/10/2008 9:44 PM, Anonymous Chris Tilling said...

Edward, this asbestos bra set thing sounds like a particularly disturbing idea! Like Robert, I'll inform Websters about it once the neologism is submitted. :-)

Tony, suprb! I may have to steal your thoughts later and then pretend they were mine...


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