Friday, June 16, 2006

Crazymatics pt 2 of 3

The webpage I had in mind is the following: The Elijah List Webstore.

Some of my best loved examples follow, though my favourite will have to wait till the next post:

1) Click here for ‘Third Heaven Vision Anointing oil’ – made from ‘six ingredients from around the world: Calamus, Cassia, Frankincense, Myrrh, Rose of Sharon, and Spikenard - in a base of virgin olive oil’. At 10$ for ½ Oz!!!

Perhaps I should try coughing up and selling Chris Tilling Really Very Holy Ministry phlegm, and call it ‘Gnostic Heavenly Visions Ointment’. BTW, I know someone in Berlin is trying to sell and ship Football World Cup air in plastic bags!

2) Here is a book that makes the following claim:
‘Is everything you do a struggle? Does a dark cloud seem to hang over your life? Are you trapped by feelings of abandonment and betrayal? ... You may be cursed! ... Dennis Cramer details his 13-year battle with a “Christian” curse’
The theology of this book would appear - though I haven’t read it - to be full of so much crap it’s unbelievable. Sorry, if I’ve offended anyone, I’m just telling you as I think it is. It’s, in my opinion, a bizarre mix of magic, Christianity, and an odd and totally inappropriate handling of the bible. I personally know people who are caught up in all of this, and it makes me livid that we Christians can be so easily duped by poor teaching.

Nevertheless, some of these people whom I personally know I would definitely want praying for me, were I ill or in need, as they can be filled with a delightful and expectant faith in God. They know and love God, and God is with them. But their theology is not at all thereby justified.

3) Ever fancied a Shofars from Afar New Covenant Messianic Prayer Shawl and Matching Talis Bag? Well, here is your chance.

40$. Nuff said.

4) In a similar vein, what about a Joyful Life Ministries Hebrew Scarf? Notice in the notes: ‘Our ultimate joy will be when the L-rd makes us His Bride!’. Yep: ‘L-rd’.

Praise the L-rd!

The Zionist edge of this webpage drives me up the wall, but I'll be careful now, as living in Germany one is surrounded by quasi-theological and evangelical Zionism. But it remains, in my opinion, poor theology, and one that deals with scripture in a highly oddball and selective way promoting all kinds of weird activity. It freaks me out, if I'm honest. I'm not a violent person at all, but if anyone, given all of the theological connotations here, runs past me in a Christian worship service enthusiastically waving an Israel flag, I have an urge to stick my foot out. This is certainly not meant as an anti-semitic statement, I want to add. Anti-semitism was and is pure evil. This rather expresses my frustration with evangelical Zionism.

To be continued ...


At 6/16/2006 10:12 PM, Anonymous One of Freedom said...

Those charismatic zionists bug the $%&^ (that filter again) out of me too. Yeah, this stuff just makes ms angry. I have a young guy I'm mentoring who is really into Todd Bentley who is a great example of the worst of this BS out there. What makes it hard is that I do believe that folks are getting healed - I just don't buy the wrapping. I was given his book on healing, supposed to be a theology of healing, more like lets say the same BS fifty million ways because maybe that will somehow make it right. I didn't make it far through that book, every page I wanted to throw it in a fire.

I have a funny story about Pat Cocking (now Patricia King???) though. I was a young worship leader who couldn't tune his guitar by ear. I showed up to assist her in worship one evening at a local charismatic church in Mississauga. Well I tuned to her guitar (poorly) and it didn't sound right so I asked her and she said it sounded great. Before we start playing she tells this story about how she's tone deaf yet can lead worship. I tried one chord and realized she was right - she was tone deaf! I just put my hands in the air like a good charismatic and forgot about my guitar. I still laugh about that one.

At 6/17/2006 12:19 AM, Anonymous Chris Tilling said...

Yes, I've heard of Todd Bentley myself. It was reading charismatic books etc. that started me looking elsewhere, as, like you say, they are all so similar in actuall content. I got bored with it all, frankly.

I liked the story!

At 6/17/2006 7:58 AM, Anonymous dan said...

I wholeheartedly agree with critiques of any sort of equation of Christianity with Zionism. If one reads even just a little Chomsky (Middle East Illusions is a handly compilition of material he has written about the conflict in Palestine) it becomes painfully clear how antithetical Christianity is to Zionism. Of course, the fact that we have to provide all sorts of disclaimers oround statements like that (i.e. being anti-Zionist does not equal being an anti-Semite) shows how succesful the Israeli press has been in equating a political movement with an ethnicity.

On another note Christians thinking about things like Zionism would do well to read the writings of Naim Ateek, a Christian Palestinian liberation theologian (Justice and Only Justice is a good place to start with him).

At 6/17/2006 6:51 PM, Anonymous Chris Tilling said...

Thanks, Dan, for these reading tips, I will certainly look them up. I have to be so careful here with what I say - for reasons unwise to explain online. So I've tried not to get on my hobby hourse with this one before.

At 7/02/2007 11:12 PM, Anonymous Tia Lynn said...

Have you ever done research on Todd Bentley, David Hogan, or The Kansas City Prophets? I've been labled "skeptical" or "unbelieving" because of my unwillingness to blindly believe without questioning some these people's wild claims. If you have any good articles on them, or others, feel free to pass them along...

My blog is

At 1/30/2010 8:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow guy's..i enjoyed your comments. We as chritians need to have decerment in these days as so many false prophets are out there. We will know them by their fruit. If one read's about love in cor.13 it tell's us Tod Bently is NOT displaying the fruit of the spirit. We are warned in the bible that in the last day's there will be a falling away from sound doctrine and from our simple faith and trust in Jesus Christ. We are seeing this in TBN and the Kansas group..prosperity gospel.It is ALL of Jesus and us serving Him not Him serving us. Be very careful to not give heed to these seducing spirits


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