Sunday, May 21, 2006

Finland's Best

My hearty congratulations to Lordi of Finland who won, with the biggest number of points ever, the 2006 Eurovision Song contest. You can see the winning song video here.

Patrik, no doubt, feels rather pleased with himself.

This was the first time in years I sat down to watch it all – it is undeniably a great pile of cheese. But what really got on my nerves were the sickening names they kept giving songs.

There were titles like: ‘Why angels cry’, ‘Without your love’, ‘Let me Cry’ etc.


*Gets nauseous just thinking about them*

*Suddenly panics and looks for a bowl*

*Throws up vigorously in to bowl*

Worst of all, in this respect, was Ireland’s, ‘Every Song is a Cry For Love’.

*Crunches up face like he’s just tasted bitter lemon*

*Grabs for bowl again*

*Vomits uncontrollably*

Why not names like: ‘I’m gonna eat your face and spit out your brains’, or, ‘Teabags are a great invention’, or whatever. Anything, anthying at all would have been better than ‘Let me Cry’! That made me cry.

I guess this is what made Lordi’s performance stick out so much. Instead of the usual beautiful bikini clad women prancing around (I didn’t want to watch that stuff you must realise, it was responsible cultural analysis), you had a stage full of demonic type aliens and mummies! Music was not great. Costumes were unforgettable!

The English press thought maybe this Lordi chap was a devil worshipper.


In his own words on the Eurovision Song Contents webpage:

“Surely Lordi and Christianity don’t go together? Sure they do. I am a member of a church”, he answered, “and our drummer Kita actually wrote and played some church music ... I don’t want to burn in hell, I want to go to heaven.”!

He went on, ‘I regularly read Karl Barth, and I have a soft spot for studying the Puritan and revivalist movements of the 19th century’.

OK, I made that last bit up.


At 5/21/2006 4:08 PM, Anonymous tortoise said...

Haven't watched it for a number of years, but I agree all those gut-wrenching ballads can get a bit - well - gut-wrenching. Still, you've got to admit that even those wrist-slittingly morose titles are better than 'Diggy Loo Diggy Ley blah blah golden shoes' type claptrap.

I did think that the title of one of the other songs this year, 'We are the winners of Eurovision', was conceptually rather good (but as I say, I didn't watch/listen so it might very well have been pants).

As a tangent to the putative Lordi-prince of darkness connection, I heard an interesting factoid from a visiting American scholar here the other day: Apparently if you play Country/Western music backwards, your wife comes back, you get your car and job back, and your dog comes back to life.

At 5/21/2006 5:52 PM, Anonymous Patrik said...

My favorite Lordi-quote: "Children love us. We look like their toys".


At 5/22/2006 8:27 AM, Anonymous Ben Myers said...

I was also thinking of Patrik while I watched it (well, okay, I only watched the end to find out who won).

I've only ever watched the whole thing once before, and I couldn't believe how tiresomely sentimental the songs were. So I was very pleased to see something as un-sentimental as a bunch of monsters winning this year!

Of course, I still think that Christians who have complained that the group is satanic are making one valid point: hell will be nearly as bad as a never-ending Eurovision contest....

At 5/22/2006 6:28 PM, Anonymous Chris Tilling said...

Hi Tortoise,
Thanks for the laugh.
'wrist-slittingly morose titles' they are indeed!
I do recommend the 'We are the winners of Eurovision' - they were clearly taking the micky, especially when one of the guys did a dance.

At 5/22/2006 6:29 PM, Anonymous Chris Tilling said...

Hi Patrik,
You Fins and your humour; it's probably darker than our English version.

At 5/22/2006 6:30 PM, Anonymous Chris Tilling said...

Hi Ben,
You make an interesting point with your "hell will be nearly as bad as a never-ending Eurovision contest".

Eurovision raise the theodicy problem to new heights.

At 5/23/2006 3:57 PM, Anonymous boxthejack said...

Perhaps we could get Lordi to do a few praise and worship sets in our churches - let's face it, much contemporary worship music is a bit reminiscent of Eurovision.


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