Biblical Evangelism

My roving reporter in Australia, Shane Clifton, has kindly sent me the links of two notable webpages. The first, http://www.flirttoconvert.com/, is set up by a certain lady called Tamara. I'll let her introduce herself:

"Hello, my name is Tamara! As you can probably tell, I'm a Christian woman who loves Jesus Christ and cares for all humans, even the wicked. What you probably don't know is that I'm hot. My picture below isn't really that good. I want to use my beauty for GOD, and want to encourage Christian women (my sisters in Christ) to do the same, according to the Great Commission"

Not only can you sign up as the one planning to do the converting, if you yourself seek conversion – put your name down. For example, a certain Arad27 posts the following about himself:

"I need to be changed from my evil wicked ways. I was born a Jew and realized my faults, I just hope a girl out there is willing to convert me to the path of righteousness. But she must be good looking"

The page links to another, namely http://datetosave.com/. Tamara seems to have her hand in this pot too, and it provides 'Christian dating tips', and a question and answer section which answers such toughies as 'Doesn't God look down on missionary dating and tells us to not be "yoked with unbelievers"?' Her answer should dissolve all doubts:

'I looked up yoked, and the dictionary says it's a "A crossbar with two U-shaped pieces that encircle the necks of a pair of oxen or other draft animals working together." I would never encourage anybody to do this on a date...'

At last somebody is making sense. Something a bit more traditionally Pentecostal is on offer here. A slightly more pietistic version is provided here. As they claim:

'Now to what works: Do you really want to share Christ without turning people off? Act like Jesus at all times'

I suppose that doesn't mean giving a Sermon on a Mount, going to Jerusalem, cursing a Fig Tree, etc – ok, I'm just being awkward. We know what they mean.

I had a few more ideas on making evangelism practical:

• Stalking evangelism. Stalk the victim chosen person until they either give in or you know enough personal details to make a very convincing 'word of knowledge'
  
• 'Stage another Pentecost' evangelism. All get blindingly drunk early in the morning, and then say it is fulfilment of Joel as people gather around. This might work well in conjunction with the next.
  
• Bully evangelism. Intimidate and torment relentlessly until they give their lives to Jesus in grateful faith
  
• 'I know your dirty secrets' evangelism. Either they repent, or you publish in the local papers the worst secrets your private detective could find in their garbage
  
• Chinese Burn evangelism. Get them in a Chinese grip, then burn them until they turn.
  
• Incense evangelism. Spike your incense herbs with something a little more potent, and watch them flood back to church each week
  
• 'Stage a healing' evangelism. Take a friend along, a pair of crutches, and head to a shopping centre.
  
• Drive by baptism evangelism – already detailed here
  
• Crusade evangelism – already detailed here.