Sunday, October 08, 2006

Things to argue about

My wife and I had a ‘discussion’ tonight over which film to watch on TV. For some reason she wanted to watch some romantic pap (‘I love you’, ‘kiss me’ etc), while I energetically voted for the more sensible Army of Darkness. Naturally, she won, though in retrospect I think I should start throwing my (considerable) weight around here a bit more often.

‘What? Touchy-feely nonsense film? No, woman! Bring on the Zombies (and that crazed bloke with the chainsaw)’.

After I married my lovely German wife, one of the first and best books I read was a novel by Mil Millington: Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About. The story involves a comical look at the relationship between a German lady and an English man living in London, something the author was able to probe rather nicely give that he is indeed in a long term relationship with a German.

To get an idea of the sort of humour you can expect, have a look here - a list of things they argue about (well, I thought it was funny).

Also amusing is Mil’s Apology Homepage, a list of people, nations, companies etc that should apologise, and why. E.g.

From the impassioned:

The gormless shitsacks who broke into my car should apologise: for not having the decency to have died very young when it would still have been a tragedy

To the sensible:

Lou Perleman should apologise: and then be hit in the head with a brick for starting the so-called boy-band craze

And the theological:

God should apologise: for taking Douglas Adams and leaving George W. Bush

Admittedly, the last ‘apology request’ is the feeble justification for publishing this post on a blog supposedly dedicated to *coughs awkwardly* biblical exegesis and theological discussion.

(Image via


At 10/08/2006 3:57 AM, Anonymous Michael Westmoreland-White, Ph.D. said...

Chris, I saw a hilarious skit once called "He said, She said," (no relation to the sappy movie of the same title). It REALLY captured some of the hilarious differences in the way women and men think.

The skit is performed with 5 people: 2 male and 2 female and a narrator of either gender. It involves a conversation between a man and a woman on the way home from a date. The other two voices are what's going on in the couple's heads. It is very funny because it is so far from what the other THINKS is going on there.

I'll sketch the idea:

1)She: Do you realize that this is our 6th month anniversary? We've been dating 6 months from tonight.

2) He: 6 months, huh?

Narrator: In his silence, she begins to wonder if something is wrong? She thinks:

3) Oh, no. Have I scared him off? Am I pressuring him to commit too soon? Is he silent because he is uncomfortable and thinks I am pressuring him?

4) He thinks: Yeah, that's right, it was 6 months because I had this engine tuned that same week. And you know the timing on this thing has never really worked right since. Why I ought to. . .

And on it goes. Hilarious stuff.

At 10/08/2006 7:41 AM, Anonymous Christopher Heard said...

Okay, I give up. What does "gormless" mean?

At 10/08/2006 12:21 PM, Anonymous Ben Myers said...

That list of arguments-with-my-girlfriend is priceless!

At 10/09/2006 1:18 AM, Anonymous Michael Westmoreland-White, Ph.D. said...

Okay, as a lowly American I have no idea what a "wormery" is, but that list is hilarious.

Men and women have so much trouble communicating (although I became more grateful for Kate with every line about Margret) that I sometimes wonder that ANY heterosexual couple ever stays together. Really, gays & lesbians at least have the advantage of similar thought processes. Plus, sharing chores, etc. CANNOT slip back into gender stereotypes.

We straight types have to work harder. I am, however, thankful that, as hard as I have to work sometimes with Kate, it is a breeze compared with Mil and Margret.

At 10/09/2006 4:15 PM, Anonymous J. B. Hood said...

Maybe you should change your tag to "based loosely upon or inspired by" biblical exegesis and biblical studies.
I hate for you to get sued or have your intellectual honesty questioned like "A Million Little Pieces" author, Ehrman, and Dan Brown.

I think you, your wife, and the entire CTRVHM staff will all agree on this:

"Your Best Life Now--The Game": "Players roll the die, answer questions
and set goals for their real lives (for example, 'I want to spend more
time with my family'). Reach the space labeled 'Tomorrow' and take a
final step toward your potential. Contains 300 cards in 6 categories
(such as 'Develop a Healthy Self Image,' 'Let Go of the Past' and 'Find
Strength Through Adversity'), 50 Wonder Word cards, 12 Have Faith cards,
6 My Miracle envelopes, writing pad, game goard, play tokens, die,

At 10/09/2006 10:01 PM, Anonymous Chris Tilling said...

Thanks for the smile, Michael!

Hi Chris,

gormless adj :
dork, foolish, lacking sense

JB, well that's just crazy. Next thing they'll be making Left Behind games ...

At 6/08/2008 11:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

One thing I learned living in Germany: Germans are NEVER wrong.


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