Thursday, February 09, 2006

Winds of Worship 6

I'll soon be finished with all of this nonsense, but my penultimate Winds of Worship is one of my first efforts, and I still think it’s one of the most moving and profound. In fact, I burst into tears whenever I recite it.

And today I’m offering even more. I thought it would be nice to start of with a liturgical prayer that I’ve formulated based on one found in the Gospel of Luke (18:10-12):
“Oh Lord, we thank you,
that we are not like other people.
We fast twice a week
And give a tenth of our income
I’ve called this one …

Holy and you know it

a. If you’re holy and you know it (all)
Clap your hands (men)
Clap your hands (women) X2

If your righteous and you know it,
And you really want to show it,
Then quickly find a random sinner and rebuke it
Publicly rebuke it.

b. If you’re baptised in the Spirit (all)
stamp your feet (men)
stamp your feet (women) X2

c. If you’re a pre-millennialist, post-tribulationist (all)
See references to helicopters in Revelation (men)
See references to helicopters in Revelation (women) X2

d. If you’re a King James 1611 only
Clobber a Catholic (men)
Smack his face in and head butt the living crap out of him (women) X2

If the NIV smells of sulphur,
And the NRSV as well,
Then run Forest, run, to the KJV.

© Chris Tilling Really Very Holy Ministries (CTRVHM), 2006
Tomorrow, I’ll introduce my last Winds of Worship song (everybody breathes a sigh of relief). I now have enough for a music CD, and I want to find out a way of earning some serious cash with all of this.


At 2/09/2006 10:45 PM, Anonymous Paul said...

This really sounds familiar. Are you sure these lyrics are not by Eric Idle and John Cleese?

Thanks for the laugh!

At 2/09/2006 10:54 PM, Anonymous Chris Tilling said...

Hi Paul,
I must take full responsibilty for these words: I def. made em up myself! I was there!

At 1/17/2007 11:22 PM, Anonymous Rebecca carpenter said...


Your songs are inspiring to say the most. I am certain I will be hearing them all in local churches- very soon.

At 7/09/2007 1:33 AM, Anonymous Ross said...

In a word: hilarious.


Post a Comment

<< Home