Thursday, February 09, 2006

Winds of Worship 6

I'll soon be finished with all of this nonsense, but my penultimate Winds of Worship is one of my first efforts, and I still think it’s one of the most moving and profound. In fact, I burst into tears whenever I recite it.

And today I’m offering even more. I thought it would be nice to start of with a liturgical prayer that I’ve formulated based on one found in the Gospel of Luke (18:10-12):
“Oh Lord, we thank you,
that we are not like other people.
We fast twice a week
And give a tenth of our income
Amen.”
I’ve called this one …

Holy and you know it

a. If you’re holy and you know it (all)
Clap your hands (men)
Clap your hands (women) X2

Chorus:
If your righteous and you know it,
And you really want to show it,
Then quickly find a random sinner and rebuke it
Publicly rebuke it.

b. If you’re baptised in the Spirit (all)
stamp your feet (men)
stamp your feet (women) X2

c. If you’re a pre-millennialist, post-tribulationist (all)
See references to helicopters in Revelation (men)
See references to helicopters in Revelation (women) X2

d. If you’re a King James 1611 only
Clobber a Catholic (men)
Smack his face in and head butt the living crap out of him (women) X2

Bridge:
If the NIV smells of sulphur,
And the NRSV as well,
Then run Forest, run, to the KJV.
KJV

© Chris Tilling Really Very Holy Ministries (CTRVHM), 2006
Tomorrow, I’ll introduce my last Winds of Worship song (everybody breathes a sigh of relief). I now have enough for a music CD, and I want to find out a way of earning some serious cash with all of this.

4 Comments:

At 2/09/2006 10:45 PM, Anonymous Paul said...

This really sounds familiar. Are you sure these lyrics are not by Eric Idle and John Cleese?

Thanks for the laugh!

 
At 2/09/2006 10:54 PM, Anonymous Chris Tilling said...

Hi Paul,
I must take full responsibilty for these words: I def. made em up myself! I was there!

 
At 1/17/2007 11:22 PM, Anonymous Rebecca carpenter said...

Chris-

Your songs are inspiring to say the most. I am certain I will be hearing them all in local churches- very soon.

 
At 7/09/2007 1:33 AM, Anonymous Ross said...

In a word: hilarious.

 

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